I learned to do something from a very young age because the temperature dropped in my childhood house hold: Channel. Focus. When you grow up around difficult people or very authoritarian ones which mine where: I had a escape hatched I used an it was Art.


Still is today.


You can't yell, scream and protest like a normal human so you retreat into your head. It's really very normal response. I felt lucky my whole life to have discovered art at such a young age. I might have not been able to say out loud what I felt but refocus my attention to something else. If I didn't like how unhappy things where: I'd draw pictures of happier times. Or what I wanted them to be. Or I'd listen to music that lift me “out of it”. Change my mood all together.


Instead of focusing on something I could do nothing about...


I'd go to my room at 8-9 years old, crack open my newest Disney book. Read it. Then spend a week drawing the whole thing over & over until I had a exact copy. I didn't trace. I practiced. I concentrate on it instead of my parents somber moods. It was a overly serious house without a lot of lightheartedness. I choose to focus on something that would make me happy instead. Like being able to do what Walt Disney could. It redirected my thoughts into something productive.


An much like giving yourself round of personal therapy all the time.


In grade school, I got picked on a lot because I was really shy. Withdrawn. In third grade, the class bully decided it was my day to be picked on. Picked on me because of my pants, ran around the indoor recess taunting me, so I just went down an sat at the table an started to draw Bambi from memory. He came over to the table, snatched my drawing out of my hands: Started to make fun of it, an couldn't.


Wait a minute, he said, “Is that...” all stunned.
An I said, “Yea, it is: Now leave me alone.”


Then, instead of taunting me: He took the drawing around to every kid in the class showing them what I could do. Suddenly, the little freak was my best friend. He wanted to sit by me. Ask me to draw him things. Informed a few other bullies not to pick on me anymore. Etc. Every time he'd brag on me, I'd turn red. I really didn't want attention either way but didn't mind someone appreciating the work I had put into being able to draw that well.


It felt nice to be appreciated for what you could do.


So, I kept working on it. Art. Drawing.
Focusing & Concentrating for long hours.


When, the family would sit down to watch TV at night: I'd have my drawing books open, learning how to draw a realistic horse. Or Cow. Once I had gotten that down, I moved on to drawing from pictures. I'd draw lions, tigers, and just about any animal you could think of. I loved animals. An I wasn't happy until I finally drew a monkey, that had a certain gilt in his eye. A warm glow. His eyes smiled. I didn't consider myself a “good” artist until I could do that. Convey that with pencil.


I spent night after night focused on it.


We had moved up to IL, an I had learned to kind use that as a way to keep bullies off my back. An it usually worked. When the new kids could see I had something to offer, they tended not to pick on me. It helped me make friends. I use to draw an paint things for them. As practice.


So art really was my saving grace. My savior.


It gave me a way to escape the drudgery of growing up feeling like I was living out Cinderellas life. I'd clean a four level house, I'd cook, do the dishes, counters, floors and trash. I did everything but the laundry. For some odd reason, thank god my mother never made me do that too. Weekend days where spent, painting apartments an painting storm windows. Over an over. An at night, I'd double down an work some more on art.


It kept me sane.


It kept me focused on the best part of myself. What I could do right, instead of what was not. My parents where critical people. Especially my mother. Nothing was every quiet good enough, or perfect enough. But I could go in my room, turn on some music an focus on something I was good at. Concentrate on what was right about me, not wrong.


It made me a workaholic very early on.


It gave me a way to express myself, for some odd reason my parents never paid much attention to. Even when I won ribbons and contest. Disigned Yearbook covers. It didn't matter much to me, whether I had their approval or not because others did recognize me for who I wanted to be seen as: Myself. MY work. Not theirs. Them not really giving me kuddos for it might be why I've had some mental block that I could not make a living as an artist. I don't know. It's a topic, I'll probably explore. Their in ability to say “good job” might be the whole root of my mental block about money & art.


They where just not very emotionally supportive about it.


They supplied the paper, sent me to a few art classes in town but generally bitched about the cost. So I tried not to ask for supplies to much until high school an had to. When I started painting murals, is when I got a reaction. It wasn't pleasant either. I was really into music. I really really admired Stanley Moore art on Journey album coves. I reproduced just about everyone of them on giant 4 foot murals.


He's know for Grateful Dead art too.


Journey was a pretty positive type of music to listen to actually. I mean I liked heavy metal too. It could have been worse lol but my dad went off about it. I was just learning to draw people. I was a teen, of course I was going to pick good looking guys to draw. An that's when he noticed, came down to my room tore every single poster off my walls: Screaming at me. All this! Is gonna go, he said. It wasn't okay with him. He went to grab my mural of Journey's “Escape” album cover I had painted that was HUGE. Pointed at it hostile as hell, “That can stay” an wouldn't touch it but when we moved to a new house, all those murals I did but one “disappeared”.


My mom said they where in storage.
Then said she couldn't find them.


No one every has confessed to where they went. I landed up in another high school Junior year. Which in a weird way was alright by me. I had just got done taking every art related class I could an by going to the new high school I could take another two. An I worked on faces until I moved out. Not as much as I had before. I got a boyfriend. Was a teenager. Got distracted. Got kicked out of the house.


I lost my focus on Art.


Didn't pick up my pencil or paints for years. Instead I focused on business, management, computer programming. But Art is what taught me: if you want to get good at anything...


You have to focus on it. Concentrate. Practice.


It's the biggest key to art & life to me.
Where your attention goes, you become.

I watched a program on Salvador Dali, the Surrealist the other day. Dali was one of the most successful artist of the 20th Century. He was worth millions, an died broke. He shouldn't have. He was a very generous man, an had always offered those close to him, loyal to him, that helped him sell his paintings 10% of his sales. To me, that's just a smart way to be. Reward people for being there for you. Supporting you. So, I intend to offer the same: I will give anyone: 10% of the traditional artwork sales you bring me personally. I will give $20 to anyone that sends me a photography client who purchases the digital CD. If you send me five purchasing clients, I will do a photo session for you for free: Give you a CD of the session so you can print them up on your own. To me, this is no different then Dali's way of saying thank you.

The problem Dali ran into, was trusting someone in his late years that didn't have his best interest at heart. They had him sign over rights to his copyrighted works. It was suppose to have been a trust, an the works go to Spain when he passed. But it didn't exactly work out that way. Now, I can only hope to be as good as someone like Dali by the time I pass: But I do worry about what will happen to my works after I'm gone.

I want the works to be in a trust, an my children to benefit from them. No one else. An I want that to be pretty clear. I'm on a lot of online websites. There are arrangements between those sites & myself as an artist to print & sell those works: but they do not own the rights to them. The rights, after I'm gone go to my children. If nothing comes of them, so be it but if something does. It's theirs to be divided up equally.

I'd like the unsold artwork kept together. Not divided or fought over. So it can be displayed. They can sell pieces, as long as all three agree to sell. It has to be for a decent price or the original is not worth selling. If they do sell, they have to make it clear to the buyer they, an they alone will always own the copyright of the piece. Only they are legally allowed to profit of it's prints or products. They need to be sure to keep a good digital copy of the prints. So they will always have residual income.

If my artwork never makes a cent for them: They've lost nothing.
But if it does, it's theirs an theirs alone.

With the exception of making sure they give the ten percent to anyone who physically sells one of the pieces. That's my “will” on it. Simple enough. So, why am I thinking about this anyway?

A few reasons: I'm getting older for one, an trying to recover from an physical illness: a breast cancer scare. Which I'm not really sure I've beat. I have to go back an get rechecked. I've had asthma attacks. Experienced a lot of sluggishness. Removed myself from any medication that could be causing it an all the doctors can only say for sure is that I do have a thyroid problem going on. The medication for it doesn't seem to be working. I have a great deal of tiredness an it's hard to get motivated. I'm pretty swollen up. My face looks like I've gone ten rounds in a boxing ring.

An for most part feels like it some days.

I'm not whining: I'm alive. Thankful for that. Slowly, I'm recovering from whatever is really physically going on with me. I feel better then I did a year ago. While I'm tired, it's no where near the level it was a year ago. It's not pure exhaustion.

An some people are just going to have to accept that.
An the fact, that their behavior wasn't so hot. Not that I'm perfect.

Because I'm not but when your seriously ill probably isn't the time to pick on someone. The only plus side of it is that people really do show you their true colors during a time period when you can't really fend for yourself. My oldest child wasn't there for me at all. She was to stuck on what I did wrong as parent to be. My son tried to be but verbally abused me up one side an down the other. The youngest was just getting kept away from me.

An the others, well is the reason I'm writing this.

When your sick, you really don't want people around you who will try to take advantage. It's really easy to “kick” someone when they are down. Your pretty vulnerable to whatever whim some get on. Defenseless. An you can forgive some of it, but not all of it. During it, your kinda well: They don't know. They don't understand. An well, they are the ones that have to live with it. It'll be their regret if ya actually kill over dead.

My kids, I can easily forgive.

Others, I'm struggling to because it's the same shitty manipulative behavior. The kind that picks you over before you're even dead. So I write this to protect my kids from it in the future. I'm human. I'm gonna die someday an people attacking me, my life, my character when Im ill it isn't going to change the life I lived. I won't have them rewriting my whole life to fit their needs. They weren't apart of my life for the most part a majority of it. So they don't get to say, she was this or that. They don't know me, an they still didn't get to know me. An it's their loss.

But I won't let it be my kids.

Dali, wasn't perfect. The man painted abstract pictures of masturbation in a time period that you didn't even talk about sex. His father wouldn't even speak to him after a certain point in his life. It was probably the best thing that ever happened to his art career. He no longer sat around trying to please someone he couldn't please. He focused on what he should have been: His art. If he sat around dwelling on OMG what's my family going to say: We might never have got to see all the wonderful things he produced. An I can't either just because four people I'm related to don't like me or afraid of what I might put out there.

Dali's dad refused to speak to him an life got nothing but better for Dali.

He left the small local scene, an grew into a international artist. Bigger then he would have ever been if he let his dad's approval or disapproval of his artwork have the last say. He might have censored it. Demanded Dali do something else. Behave differently. Ect. I myself can say, my son probably needs to rain himself in a little on social media. But I won't. It's his choice how he expresses himself an has to live with it. I don't always agree with what he is posting but I won't interfere with someones right to free speak. All I can do as his mother is say: That's probably not the best way to show the world who you are. It might come back an bite you in the ass. But for all I know it could be the right way for him. It might get him where he wants to be, doubtful but maybe. You never know.

Dali didn't have kids.

I doubt if he had he would have ever had to listen to he was a bad parent for going to work in his studio. I have. My “studio” just happened to be in my home office. Just because they couldn't see the artwork didn't make it any less real. Just because I can't display the 5000+ photo shoots I've done doesn't mean they weren't real work either. It's like saying my father never worked because he operated soly out of his house to do his work. Framing an rentals are home businesses. They are family businesses.

My daycare was out of my house.

Dealing with people that run on you for that is annoying. They will treat you like your just sitting around eating bon bons doing nothing with your time. Even if you built a empire doing it. So I really don't have a lot of use for the few that didn't understand it an went on in the backgrounds of my childrens lives telling them I was neglecting them. This would be like someone saying my grandmother did because she was watching her children and hoeing a cotton field at the same time. She was working & mothering at the same time.

To some it might have been seemed better if she just went to a factory job an didn't take them with. That is only because some can't wrap their minds around the concept of: Yes some of us took our kids to work with them. I'd took them to the gas station I managed if I could as well. In fact I did one day, take my son to work with me a few hours: Just so he could learn about what it is I did all day. I'd bring my daughter an her friends up to the studio all day too once in a while. So they got: I'm not ignoring you. I'm actually working. The only place I wouldn't take them much to was the bar. Unless it was daylight, a family meal or gathering: I saw no reason for them to be in it.

Parents have to work to support their children.

My children saw me work. All of it might not been as successful as I'd like it to be but I was working. They also saw me studying a lot. Going to college. Am I a bad parent for that too? The only time my kids where not with me, they where with my grandmother or another adult supervising in my home. I didn't like the Latch & Key way I was raised. I went way out of my way not to mommy by telephone. I was also home with them. They might not have had my full attention constantly but I was there for them if they needed me. It was no different then if I had taken them to a job with me. Its no different then me working on a painting in my own home. Mine just happened to be on the computer a lot. An they could not always see what I was doing. Nor could the person(s) that constantly runs me down for it. Just because everyone else was only online to socialized didn't mean I was.

So right now, I will apologize to my kids for being a space cadet. I don't mind saying, I was distracted. Or that I usually had ten things going on at once. No different then if I had took them to my gas station management job. I would have had to watch them, an do my job: but I did pay attention to you more then I was growing up. A lot more. An someday, my kids will have kids of their own an understand just how hard it is to raise children an work. They may choose to put their kids in daycare while they work. I choose not to most of it. I'm not the only one that choose to parent this way.

It made me working harder.

But I didn't complain about having a kid stuck to my leg 24-7. I choose to have you. I wanted you an I raised each one of you best I could with you with me as much as possible. Being a single mother is a hard task. An I am forever grateful to my grandmother for co parenting with me. She didn't have to. An I didn't make her. A good chunk of the time, she'd insist the kids come up to her house wither they really needed to or I wanted her to. What I am not grateful for is the constant criticism of me parenting all during it. Or someone interfering an robbing my youngest of years with me based on me living in a house they sold me or me being ill.

It's not fair to her. It never will be.

An I don't care what someone who has always only worked for another has to say about it. By all means yes, it certainly is easier. I get that, but it never leads to any great accomplishments in life either. Some don't get what it means to own your own business, successful or not. An you never had three kids teetered to you all through you work day either. I literally use to breastfed my youngest while sitting at the computer working on something. My son sat next to me all day long playing, napping or learning to crawl as I learned HTML. I was there for every diaper change, burp or gas movement for each one of them. Even if it meant I had to stop what I was programming, drawing or studying in college to attend them. An tell ya truth, it was no different then when I was a teen working or doing artwork around my little sisters needs. I wasn't a phone call away. I was there.

If my kids are mad at me about it, it's because someone has been putting it in their head that it was wrong. An that's all they do, is go on about how “wrong” I am. Even though, I flat out told one of them I'm thinking about writing a book an they stated “You should.” then play victim when I start.

How do you think Dali's career would have went had he listened to his Dad?

I can tell you from personal experience not so damn hot. He would have stayed local. He never would have meet the people in the surrealist movement an probably never seen the wax museum that so influenced his art. An Dali sold so well, not only because he had great art but because people all over talked about him. He stirred up controversy. He was known for it. It helped him establish himself as a household name.

So let the “haters” hate. Let them talk.

No one remembers who talked about Dali, or even much of what they had to say about him.
They remember Dali thou, an his art.

An that's what I would like my children to understand. I'm not doing this or that to hurt someone. I just don't need that someones approval or they few using you to get at me. It won't work. I'll just take more pictures, paint more murals an put out more content. You don't have to like it, but maybe someday I'll have a real Legecy to really leave you. Then you might understand. An if not, I'm sorry but your grown adults: An I like to think I've taught you all to think for yourselves.

Dali did, an I don't think hes a bad example to follow.

Tons said he was crazy too an whether he was or not. He wasn't really, he just really got okay with putting himself out there. Which, back in the day was unheard of, specially topics he covered. Because back in the day, you didn't even talk about sex let alone admit to masturbation. He shocked many not accustomed to a culture where nudism on he beach was normal. That didn't make him crazy. It just gave him the ability to have others question the status quo of their own cultures. It didn't make him crazy. It really just boiled down to being raised differently then anothers culture.

I don't regret the way I raised my children.

When I was 8,9, 10 years old, my grandmother use to paint all day watching me & my sister. I have found memories of being with her while she did. She would even let me paint, or dabble in whatever as well. She'd hand me the book she was learning from, an have a go at it myself. I still have those books.I'd watch Bob Ross with her, totally enjoying learning something new. An she would take me along with her to her sisters house who was a farmer, an artist herself. Her sister got into it even more, with her husband building picture frames an selling at art shows.

I enjoyed that part of my upbringing.

I thought nothing of buying my daughter a barbie computer, with preschool software to learn her ABCS. She could work on hers, while I worked on mine. An that was pretty strange to some folks too. Letting a three year old get on the computer an play. But I did. I made sure my son had a hot wheels computer an could enjoy it just as much as I did. My oldest started to hate on the computer, bored with it: I reintroduced into it being like a library because she loved to read. I made sure each kid had one, so they could explore their passions: Even if it was just Everquest. An I let my youngest get on social media, as long as she was safe about it. I'd take the time to check on her account. Who was on it, why they where an how she knew them.

My kids run computers better then most adults.

A skill needed in this day an age an if they ever wanted a career in it they could have it. Easily. My nephews in college for it right now. Learning exact same stuff I went to college for. When he was little, he use to play on my sons. An I don't regret teaching any of them a little bit about computers. Or what it was, I was trying to do for work. The kids get it better then most adults around me. Because they grew up playing games with artwork on computer screens. And none of them might not ever go down the arts bunny hole I have but if they do: It's certainly okay with me. This is where the future is going.

An I won't apologize for teaching my kids about it. Or working. Or working from home. Wanting to own your own business. Or Art. An someday, they are going to look back at it an go: Yea, that really wasn't all that bad of her.


But Dali didn't have kids, or a computer...but he did have one other thing I have: A admiration for Disney. He didn't work for Walt even though he wanted to. He ended up in the Twilight Zone instead an I don't much mind going there myself. Crazy, not crazy: As my grandma would say to me: “Who gives a shit” “Just do at least one thing a day an it will add up to something”

OH! and...“Practice” AND “Stop giving a shit what other people think” Best advice ever!
Given from one artist to another.

If your an artist, an on social media because you have to be: take a primer out of Dali's life. Don't worry about your families/”friends” approval. They aren't your buyers anyway. If you are worried about their approval all your gonna end up doing is painting flowers. Because flowers are about the only thing you can do artistically that doesn't offend someone. An the weather is about the only thing you can write about that doesn't piss someone off. Even then, you'll have a few haters. Focus on who encourages you. Not the ones who don't. An you'll find a lot more love, then hate. An for all you know, your hater could end up jump starting your career.

Dali's dad certainly did his.

Creativity. What's it mean to you? Me? Just about everything. I personally think I'm a rather boring person because of it: Yet not. It all kinda starts in the head. An I spent a whole year thinking about it and Art. An what really truly makes one a great artist. Spending almost a decade in portrait photography, I had reached burn out, an I've took a little time off from it.



I was working for Mom365, photographing newborns: Crisp clean photography. Which, don't get me wrong, I love an think everyone should have those of their newborns but having a studio background there was a wish I could take them all home with me an do more creative posing. It was encouraged in a couple of studios I've worked for, as long as it didn't take long. An other companies, it wasn't. So my dissatisfaction grew working for Lifetouch or other companies. While I got to travel, I didn't have much time to explore: to take other outstanding photography I'd like. Which makes me think, I should probably get into wedding photography: but there are some hassles with it I'm not sure I want to take on.


So I'm setting up my own studio.


I miss having a creative setting to work out of. Opening my own studio, I can take longer with clients. I can do things, companies won't: like taking the time for digital art. With major companies its about the money more then it is the art form. They find something simple that works, an drain the hell out of it. These simple portraits are important, don't get me wrong. Everyone needs them but they don't WOW! Like I was taught to do. I'm a junkie when it comes to that, always have been since I was a little kid drawing things other kids couldn't. I get off on people's reactions to my creativity. The result of someone's eyes opening wide, a big smile crossing their face an seeing the joy in them usually is my pay off. More so then money.


It's priceless to me.


Being able to bring someone to tears over a piece of my work, deeply satisfying. So, moving someone with my art is my goal. It's my motivation. I got really good with it in a studio setting. Well in other settings as well, but that WoWzer effect I look to create just wasn't possible in these pop up photography settings. At least not to me, an I was burning out because of it. When you are taking pictures of newborns an can't get the new mother to eww an aww over what your doing, you know somethings missing. An to me, it was the creativity of a studio setting. You can just do a lot more in a studio then you can at the bottom of a hospital bed. An that's what people want & get inspired by.


So, I've been investing in my studio so I can take those creative portraits.


I need it like water: creativity.


Creativity takes more of a investment then just simple snap shots anyone can do. It takes time & money. Not something I saw most companies I worked for willing to invest much in. An that's why so many studios are closing nationwide as well. They just don't seem willing to go the extra length it takes to keep that spark in a persons eyes open wide. I am, so that's where I am going with my photography. I just have to do something more creative. Not just simple head shots, no matter how good I am at those. My being needs to hear the “Oh, WoW!” when I do something. It's the appreciation of my work that drives me. I can get pretty creative provoking that response as well.


So, what is creativity?


What makes one creative? Like I said, I sat an thought a lot about this after I left Lifetouch. Creativity to me in photography is making something or someone stand out. It's a how, a technique just as much as it is using head. It's using your hands as well as your mind.


I don't just do photography: Although that's how I've made my living.


I've done traditional art since I was young: drawing, painting etc. When I got older: programming an digital art. I spent a year just creating a piece of fractal art a day. Just to WoW! Internet crowds an entertain others: That's what a junkie I am for the response to creativity. Doing family photography feed that need as well. I've had this need to be creative and have people's responses to it since I was young. An the former usually drives me to get more creative as I go. I'm a attention whore for it. I don't want a lot of attention personally, just for my skills an my creativity. It drives me to get better at what ever art form I'm working in. So the studio, is going to have simple photography to complex digital art involved.


I crave it: Creativity. Need it.


It's a part of my being: but what is creativity? I'd say the ability to inspire or elicit a emotional response in ones self and in others. Technique or gear is just the tools you are using to do so. The official definition of it is: The use of the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work. In the time I took off after leaving Lifetouch, my thoughts where on what made one great. Was it their creativity alone? Or was it something more.


Drawing a picture of a mouse, isn't exactly “great”


Yet, Disney made it great. It was the first of it's kind. He came up with something new. Mixing pictures with film. Then mastered techniques doing this as time went on. But that's not exactly what made Disney films great. It's what got him notices by others at first, but what made Disney great was the ability to elicit a response. Same with all the “Grates”.


So creativity is a little more then just mastering techniques. Or coming up with a original idea: Which by the way is hard to do in this day and age. It's all been “done” before. Yet, that's what artist strive for a lot of time: an original idea. To be the first at something. Again, it's what got Pixar noticed. They where some of the first to take what Disney was doing an transfer it to computers. It's not what made them “Great” though. Their ability to take a new technique, master it and elicit a emotional response was.


DaVinci was King of original thoughts an ability to use art form to put them down on paper but what's his most famous painting? The Mona Lisa, because it still to this day get's a response from it's viewers. Even the one's who are not into art it manages to stimulate a reaction to. His Last Supper, no where near a original idea, done by many artist in his day as well. Why is it better then the others done? Not just because he had mastered an artistic form, but because it is capturing anothers imagination. The greats grabs a persons eye, then holds it's attention. It's mind long enough to get a response.


So I beg to differ just mastering technique is creativity.


No matter how original or good art your skills are, it won't be great art if it can't do this. In my spare time, I've been doing a popular form of art lately: paint pouring. It does but doesn't take a lot of skill. From my point of view, having a lot of art techniques under my belt. It's easy. To another it's difficult. What I notice is it doesn't get much of response except from other artist playing in it themselves. It gets responses, but probably not enough to make it “Great” even though the paint interacting with its self is a very spontaneously creative. I enjoy, watching it form. I'm an artist after all. It inspires me but after it dries, I'm like “ehhh, it's okay” but when I saw it on a piece of clothing: I was like: “WoW!”. It didn't wow me or really anyone else on the canvas. It's “okay”. In the right decorating situation, it will stand out in a room but it would need that to make it “Great”.What's interesting about the whole art technique are the videos of it being done, not the pieces themselves. Which is what is making it popular. People are getting just as WoW'd as the artist watching it form. That is what is making it stand out, what is making it “great”.


The response.


An it's not the painting themselves, but the watching of the process.


It's also what sells photography as well. People enjoy parting in the process of creating portraits of themselves. It caputers there attention while you have them in the studio. It's why some artist on the internet are more popular then others. Some are better at grabbing the attention of viewers, then others even though one maybe more skilled at the technique: It doesn't mean they are the most creative.


So, after a year of thinking on the subject of what is creativity:


What I've come up with is, it's more then just coming up with something new or being good at it.


To be creative also means to capture the viewers attention span. It's why one artist can sell, while another no matter how good they are or their art can't. It's not a matter of just being the most artistic at something. Its not just a matter of being imaginative in oneself. All the greats where, are an so are plenty of artist, no matter what form of art they choose to do. Even a hobbyist has imagination.


We all do.


But what sets the “greats” apart from other artist an other people is one thing: the ability to engage another imaginative realm. To get them involved mentally. Grab their attention an do something with it that creates a emotional response in another: Whether it's laughter or tears, or just plain out Awe.


It's part of the creativity process.


It's the last step in it.


It's not just one's own ideas, but the ideas you spark in anothers mind that makes one highly creative. That's what makes one film better then another. Why Alice In Wonderland is still one of the most popular children's books, or what makes a mediocre cartoonist sell more work then a highly trained one.


Part of the creative process is engaging another imagination.


An those that do it well, are the most creative. They've mastered the creative process.

1. Use their imagination
   
2. Create the work
   
3. Engage others with their work
   
4. Get a response.
   

So many artist are depressed because that last part is hard to do. Especially in this day an age where people are overloaded with looking at pictures, artwork and quotes. The former two are just as much a part of the creative process as the first two, or at least I have found as a common ingredient that went into making something a great work of art.


Just something to think about:
Creatively. Yours,
Dana Haynes

I've spent my whole life focused on specific things: art from a very young age. My life has revolved around it home, family & management. I grew up in a family that started out as farmers that centered their lives around homes: Real Estate. My mother sold them, my aunt brokered them. My uncle built them. My grandmother rented them. An my dad remodeled buildings to rent. An I painted them from the age of ten onwards. Not very artist but practical painting!
I was so sick of painting versions of white by sixteen: I wanted to scream every time I opened a can of it.


But it did teach me to apply a skill I had from a very early age in the real world. My trade mark? My boombox playing in the background of everything I did. Music got me through everything. No matter how hard or tired I was. I had a belief in myself other kids my age didn't have. I could make a living at something I could do. It might not have been as artistic as I desired but it was a skill. Being a latch-key kid the rest of my time was spent watching my sisters, cleaning and managing the house. My life revolved around kids. After one of the adults got home, then an only then did I get time for art.

I didn't have a lot of time for socializing like other kids.I've spent my whole life focused on specific things: art from a very young age. My life has revolved around it home, family & management. I grew up in a family that started out as farmers that centered their lives around homes: Real Estate. My mother sold them, my aunt brokered them. My uncle built them. My grandmother rented them. An my dad remodeled buildings to rent. An I painted them from the age of ten onwards. Not very artist but practical painting!

I was so sick of painting versions of white by sixteen: I wanted to scream every time I opened a can of it.

I wanted to but it just didn't fit in the schedule. An I told myself, I could do all that after I turned 18. An I did. Partying became a “hobby” of mine. I took a bartender job up in Beloit just to get paid to socialize. Because if nothing else my childhood made me practical. The rest of the time I worked painting new construction. Staining woodwork. I worked Sharkys one nite a week, starting out as a “Shot Girl”. Graduated to full on weekend, an picked up another bar tending job at Rockton Wagon Wheel to learn “classy” bar tending. You know, mix something a little more complicated then Lady's Nite well drinks.

I didn't set out to open a bar.

But I did learn to mange one without meaning to. I got into retail management because I was a organized person. I didn't like a unpredictable pay check. Or working three jobs at once. Which I was. I went to RVC, took a certification course in accounting just to get away from what I considered at the time: a no where job. Just a phase of my life. It gave others belief in me that I could do more then just serve others or paint walls. I learned I liked practical sales, not sales jobs. I've been in retail management since. I believed I could manage millions of dollars stores. An proved it.

I believed I could. An did.

What I didn't believe I could do was sales. I mean, I knew I could because I watched my mother do them. She's good at them, but I also watched her go through the ups and downs of it. An I was actually very good at convincing people they needed another shot as a “Shot Girl” but I just didn't think sales positions where for me. I took what seemed to me the easier route: There's the candy bar on the shelf, I'll organize it. Clean it. Manage it. Make it look nice: You buy it if you want to. I'm not gonna spend my time talking you into it if you don't really want it. I liked PRACTICAL sales.
Not sales, SALES.

Or so I thought. I didn't choose to go into an Art Career because I was so practical about it. I wasn't into the idea of “starving artist”. I went into what I had learned growing up: Managing. Being practical. Being an artist wasn't going to make me a living. Only the best, an few make any real money in art. I ignored it as career option. Even though that's what I was best at. It just wasn't “practical” to believe I'd get any where in an art field. Except being a teacher. An I started to go that route returning to college in my 20's because I had a art teacher tell me: “If nothing else works out in art for you Dana, you can at least go into teaching.” Not even the art teacher, no matter how good she thought I was had a belief that there was any good way to make a living in art.

An here's the point of this whole piece: Belief.

What you believe is going to effect your whole life. I grew up being discourage from actually following an art career. I was encouraged to do art, just not to believe it would earn me much of living. I used the things I learned as a kid to guide my whole life. I grew up watching entrepreneurs all around me. I was taught I could turn something I loved into business that would support me an later on my family.. I was taught family working together is everything. An what I wanted to do for work, just didn't quit fit into being as successful as they had been. Or at best it was a “long shot”.

An you have to examine those beliefs you have learned or been taught.

I was taught to believe in myself, just not so much about art. Painting a wall is an art form. Believe it or not. A practical one. It's boring but can be therapeutic. An you can get so good at it you don't need a drop cloth or have to put up painters tap. But it wasn't going to provide me with income I wanted. It could have had I stuck with it but it was just too boring to a person who'd rather paint flowers on the wall. Or anything else that wasn't white. I'd do big jobs, commercial now an then to catch up on bills but it left me dissatisfied.

When my kids where born, I went into Home Daycare. Again being practical.

I wanted to be home with my kids, Do art when they slept. An got to use those business management skills I had learned. I believed I could do it. So I did. An I made a “okay” living doing something I could believe in. Being home for my little ones. Family: A Family Business. Again, my drive of wanting to do something, but having to be practical at making a living doing it. I had managed to get paid to be social parting in the 80s. An I managed to get paid to stay at home with my kids. Then, when my daughter was about six I got a phone call from my grandmother.

My dad had bought a bar.

I was the only one in the family that knew anything about running one. I was the only one that had any kind of retail management experience: Could you please go over there an help him. So, I did. I ran the daycare during the day. Worked at night running the bar. An picked up a huge commercial painting bid job just so I could afford to follow everyone else's dream but my own. An it was a success. Still is. I believed we could do it. An we did. As a family.

But when my father passed in 2007, an my children growing up:

I hit a full on depression because my whole life revolved around them. kids and managing things. I had spent years returning to college, learning computer programming struggling to raise the kids during it so I could be in a art field. An had landed right back into retail management. I wasn't doing art. An the only thing that got me through the grieving possess of loosing him and my grandmother was ART. I dived in head first into digital fractal art. I didn't care if it sold or not. Practicality went out the window. I had to do some art, or I'd loose it upstairs. I'd work my management all day an come home an do art all night. I finally decided by 2010 if I didn't figure out how to do something in a art field I was gonna go crazy. I spent my whole life revolving around managing this or that: painting walls an raising children. I had to get over this belief you couldn't make money in an artistic field. Everything I had learned an put to practical use over the years had been successful. Even parting. An not many can say that. So I had to get over this block I had. Or disbelief.

An it was deeply ingrained in me for some odd reason I couldn't make a living doing “art.” I'm still not sure why that it is, other then years of listening to people who are not artist tell me it was a impossibility to make a living doing it. So 2011 or so, I got determined when I was looking for a job. An it was bad. I was behind on a house payment. Pissed off what I had worked for was being taken away from me. An pretty close to getting my lights shut off. I just didn't care. I had to find a job that was going to actually be forefilling or go nuts.

You can only merchandise beer displays so much an tell yourself at least it's somewhat artistic marketing them an not flip the hell out on yourself. So I looked hard for something that would actually fit me. An got over the fact it was gonna involve sales. An FINALLY I found a job that incorporated everything I had spent my whole life invested in. And I didn't have to paint a white wall! Or get someone drunk to do it. A studio was looking for a retail manager. Must be good with children. Artistic a plus! We will teach you sales!

When I read the ad, I thought I had died an gone to heaven.

I've never been nervous at a job interview. I was at this one cause I wanted it so bad but practically needed it or me an the kids where gonna freeze to death if I kept up this craziness of wanting an art career. It was a god send! An it might not seem much to most, but probably taught me the most about getting over my phobia of not believing in myself having a career in what I loved. An it's definitely not for everybody. The hours are long, the attention to detail exacting an you have to really like people an socializing to do it.

It was a perfect balance of art, family and management for me. An I rocked it out of the park because I fell in love with it. Could believe in it.

I officially became the retail manger of a photography studio.

All my years of learning digital art, working with kids, family and the public in management had finally paid off. An I had some of the best years of my life doing it. I can't complain. But I will tell you it's not a job you can do if you don't believe in yourself. I don’t care how many guru’s you pay. It's not a job you can do if you don't believe in the art of it either. An it's definitely not a job you can do if you don't get over “art doesn't sell”.

I grew as an artist more my first year as a studio manger then I had in a decade.

Why? Cause the job makes you confront every self doubt you have ever had about yourself and your art. The first couple of weeks on the job, I didn't know if I was gonna make it. I really did have a lot of self doubt about my ability. And it was confronted by customers daily. People that loved what I was doing. I mean everything that could go wrong did. Right down to, the DM quit during my training. To not knowing how to even open the registrar on my first sale. I had to retrain my mind, to not be scared of sales. I had to make myself get out there every day on the floor an push myself to engage with people to bring in new customers. I had to get past being scared of rejection. I had to show people daily my work. I had to report in every day that I was in fact selling the art: photography portraits.

An to do that, you have to believe in it. An yourself. You have to have confidence in what you are doing. Something I had always had in every other area of my life. A belief.

You have to have a belief system in your life that works for you. Mine hadn't in one area of my life: art. An the job pushed me past a limiting belief, that art doesn't sell or can't support you. I kept looking for it. My whole life, an what I found was a self limiting belief that had to go in order for me to be happy. My life has been nothing but “do what you love” an the money will follow example. If it's not, you have to examine the roots of your value system an pluck all the self limiting weeds out of it. If you can't do that, art or the art of photography really isn't gonna be a career you can make it in. Your not just selling art, your selling a belief in it an yourself. An if your a slash an burn photographer selling it for less then portraits are worth your harming the industry.

It was very easy for me to get behind the notion that family memories are important an should be captured by a photo lens. An they are worth paying good money for. It was a lot of fun for me to get to part take in the artistic experience of it with others. I don't think I've laughed so much in my life. An there was nothing better in the retail world of being greeted by customers that smiled and where actually happy to see you. It was the perfect combination of life balance for me. But it took a lot of over coming myself to achieve it. An that all boiled down to belief.

So believe, but don’t be stupid about it.

Your looking at a girl that “followed her bliss” practically.

A woman that turned painting houses & buildings into a paid off home for her family. Turned a hobby of 80s parting into a rock solid tavern business. A mother who wanted to stay home with her children into successful daycare business an internet site. And manger that turned her artistic dream into reality that ended up running the district. It's never a matter of can you. You can. That just takes practice.

It's a matter of how to turn a belief into a reality. An that starts with your beliefs to begin with.

So take the time to examine your own beliefs. But believe: Because what you think, look for or invest your time in. You will find.